The Real Deal
Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is not that we have been wrong, but that we miss or need someone that is no longer part of our life.
Earlier this week you made me so mad that I swore I would not give you the satisfaction of coming back into my life. I figured you would come around the next day and we'll put it behind like we used to do. For a while I was very angry with you so I couldn't care less, but now I'm just hurt. I'm hurt that you think so little of me that you would act this way. I am sad that I seemed to have wasted so much of my energy on a friendship that apparently means nothing to you. I am angry that you seem to think you have apologised to me when you refuse to look me in the eye and tell it straight to my face. Most of all I am angry with you for taking away your friendship without discussing it with me first.We go way back in Sec2 when we had nobody but each other, we stood by each other and promised that we would start new without the rest. I don't think I ever felt so strong about a friendship with anyone and perhaps this is why I am feeling so angry and even betrayed by you. Our tanning trips, working at that chapalang HK Cafe because we needed money so badly, singing along to Quando, Quando, Quando, having to explain jokes to you all the time because you don't get it, and simply just being there for each other was what I considered you to be my best friend.
I am acting like a child and not a grown up. I try so much to write and think like one but I fail to behave like one.
Sam told me today that pride is something that should not exist. "Not having pride is bad, but having too much pride is worse." I guess its true lah. I feel like crap and I believe that its because of my pride. I'm sorry if you think I let you down. I'm sorry if you think I am a disappointment to you, but guess what...you let me down, too.
They say there are three sides to every story, yours.. mine, and the truth. Perhaps if we didn't try so hard to have our side heard then we might find the truth a lot sooner.
Earlier this week you made me so mad that I swore I would not give you the satisfaction of coming back into my life. I figured you would come around the next day and we'll put it behind like we used to do. For a while I was very angry with you so I couldn't care less, but now I'm just hurt. I'm hurt that you think so little of me that you would act this way. I am sad that I seemed to have wasted so much of my energy on a friendship that apparently means nothing to you. I am angry that you seem to think you have apologised to me when you refuse to look me in the eye and tell it straight to my face. Most of all I am angry with you for taking away your friendship without discussing it with me first.We go way back in Sec2 when we had nobody but each other, we stood by each other and promised that we would start new without the rest. I don't think I ever felt so strong about a friendship with anyone and perhaps this is why I am feeling so angry and even betrayed by you. Our tanning trips, working at that chapalang HK Cafe because we needed money so badly, singing along to Quando, Quando, Quando, having to explain jokes to you all the time because you don't get it, and simply just being there for each other was what I considered you to be my best friend.
I am acting like a child and not a grown up. I try so much to write and think like one but I fail to behave like one.
Sam told me today that pride is something that should not exist. "Not having pride is bad, but having too much pride is worse." I guess its true lah. I feel like crap and I believe that its because of my pride. I'm sorry if you think I let you down. I'm sorry if you think I am a disappointment to you, but guess what...you let me down, too.
They say there are three sides to every story, yours.. mine, and the truth. Perhaps if we didn't try so hard to have our side heard then we might find the truth a lot sooner.
posted by Lucy | 11:31 PM
4 Comments:
=) just reading that alone makes my day. guess i didn't wait in vain. Jill.
Hope dangles on the edge of a knife.But even in the darkest abyss, there is always a glimmer of light.
take a chill pill man, real friends would forgive though its hard to forget.
Give it a rest.
Good friends take a day.
Best friends take a week.
To put it past.
Cause A good friend stays with you for maybe , 5 years.
But A best friend , forever.
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