Realise you are responsible for your own happiness

Sometimes we carry a sense of entitlement that makes us believe that other people owe us, that they are somehow responsible for our happiness.
If we are sad, they need to give us their support. If we are lonely, they should keep us company. If we are in a relationship, our mates are supposed to protect us from pain. They should be sorry when we are mad and attentive when we are sad. They should promise that no matter what happens, they would never hurt us.

These are impossible expectations.

Although it is normal and self-respecting to want others to treat you well, in the end it is your responsiblity to take care of yourself. If you are in a situation in which you aren't being treated with respect, it is up to you to remove yourself from that situation.

You may have had a friend who constantly complains about the way her boyfriend treats her. The first time, you feel awful for her. The second time, you hold her hand and agree that the guy is a jerk. However, after listening to her complaints again and again, the question inevitably becomes, "How much of this are you going to take before you stand up for yourself?"

There is a fine line between being taken advantage of and letting yourself be taken advantage of.

You have to be honest with yourself about your circumstances. You have to face things that you might rather ignore.
For instance, you may have a boyfriend that constantly lets his friends step all over you in front of him and even you. Sadly, it becomes your responsiblity to end that relationship if your attempts at working things out are unsuccessful.

Unrealistic expectations always end up hurting you.
The more you believe that others owe you, the sadder you are when they don't deliver.
The "If he loved me, he would do this and he wouldn't do that" game is a setup for heartache.
If you are able to tell yourself, "Its my job to be happy. It is my job to take care of myelf, to be healthy, and to give myself the things I need," then you are owning your power to be happy or not. You can't allow other people to be in control of how you feel.

You can't make rules in relationships to ensure that you never get hurt. You can't leave it up to someone else to make sure that you are happy. If you do, you will end up feeling disappointed and sometimes even heartbroken.
But you can take responsiblity for your own happiness. You can be sure that you don't always end up in the position of the vicim. You do this by acknowledging whose job it is to take care of you- yours. You do this by putting yourself in situations that are healthy, with people who are good to you and respect you and understand friendship and commitment. When you find yourself happy, you look at your circumstances and figure out what you can do to change them.

This is what it means to take responsiblity for your own happiness, and this is one way you can begin showing yourself the love you deserve.

-abstracted and modified from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul.